Marriage Work
​(Summary)

There are 3 ways to do marriage: My way, Your way and Our way. Our way is more challenging, because we get to face and repair my brokenness, your brokenness and our brokenness, as we simultaneously build our marriage into a team together.

In therapy we internalize healthy marriage perspectives and practice skills to weave our lives together into a team, while walking along four paths:
    (1) Love: How well do we join, connect and understand what is happening inside our partner, ourselves and our relationship? Are we experiencing a climate of acceptance and appreciation? Do we feel seen, heard and understood?
    (2) Commitment: How honest, vulnerable and forgiving are we? How confident are we that we will be together forever? Do we feel soothed and settled?
    (3) Trust: How well do we pay attention to each other, ourselves and whether we are building up or tearing down? Are we practicing our faith together? Do we feel safe and free to be vulnerable?
    (4) Intimacy: How deeply do we know each other and feel known by each other? What is our plan for us and our participation in community? Do we feel secure, relaxed and happy with the wake we leave behind us after being with friends?

Doing this work of marriage enables us to see, hear, feel and think more accurately. We settle on the inside. We learn what to say, how to say it and when. We grow in our faith. Our relationship and conversations flow, as we walk through situations together. Then we enjoy being married.